Boudoir photography has always been marketed a certain way. You’ve probably seen it. “Release your inner baddie.” “Transform into a bombshell.” Full glam, new lingerie, a version of yourself that feels… elevated.
And look, that can be fun. For some people, that is them.
But it got me thinking… what if that’s not the only way?
When I first got into this field, I booked my own boudoir session. I went all in. Hair done, makeup done, nails done, bought lingerie specifically for it. I showed up ready to play the part.
The thing is… I never do those things in my everyday life.
And while the experience itself was great, and my photographer (who is incredibly talented, by the way) captured me beautifully, something felt off. I didn’t feel like me. I remember getting home and immediately wiping off the makeup, taking off the nails, just wanting to return to myself as quickly as possible.
That stuck with me.
A few months later, I booked another session. This time, I did the opposite. I showed up as I actually am. Minimal makeup, like mascara and that’s it. No lingerie. I started in a dress, then changed into my cute, regular underwear and a lot of the photos actually ended up being fully nude! And surprisingly, I felt more comfortable fully nude than I did in lingerie.
I felt like myself. And honestly? I felt more sexy that way. More grounded. More real.
I feel hot in my shorts. In my yoga clothes. In my natural hair, my skin, my body exactly as it is. So I started asking myself… what’s wrong with that? Why does “sexy” have to mean becoming something else? What if the “inner baddie” doesn’t need to be released… because she’s already here?
That shift changed how I see boudoir completely.
Now, I approach it less as a transformation and more as intimate portraiture. A documentation of who you are in this moment. No performance required. No pressure to become a different version of yourself.
Just… come as you are.
Because the truth is, not everyone wants to transform. Some people just want to remember. To honor a season of their life. To feel seen without layers of expectation.
I was reminded of this recently when I photographed Maeba.
Her session was gifted to her by a close friend ahead of a major, life-changing surgery. When we spoke beforehand, she told me this wasn’t something she had planned for herself, so she didn’t come in with a specific vision. She trusted me to lead, and she was open to the idea of keeping things simple. No makeup. No hiding.
She wanted to show up as she is. To acknowledge her body, everything it’s been through, everything it’s given her. Two children. A whole life lived inside of it.
And that’s exactly what we did.
We didn’t try to fix anything. We didn’t cover or conceal. We leaned in. Softly. Honestly. Highlighting what’s already there instead of trying to create something new.
That session stayed with me.
Not just because of the images, but because of the connection. Getting to know her, hearing parts of her story, witnessing her in that space… it’s hard to explain, but it’s one of those moments where you realize how powerful this work can be.
How often do you meet someone new and leave feeling inspired by them?
That’s what boudoir can be. Not just photos. Not just “feeling sexy.” But a way of seeing yourself clearly, maybe in a way you haven’t before.
Maeba’s story isn’t mine to tell, and she shares it far more beautifully than I ever could on her Substack, “feel it til you heal it.” I highly recommend reading it.
And I will say this—
There is no one way to do boudoir.
You don’t have to transform.
You don’t have to perform.
You don’t have to become anything other than who you already are.
That version of you is enough.
If this feels more like your pace, your version of “sexy,” I’d love to create something with you. You’re always welcome in my studio here in Ellicott City, where we can keep things simple, comfortable, and fully you. Or, if home is where you feel most like yourself, I can come to you and document you in your own space, exactly as you are. No pressure, no expectations, just an honest, intimate session that reflects you. If that’s been something you’ve been craving, this is your sign to book it.
